Ferry or Fairy?

When I was about five I took my first ferry ride. When my mom told me we were going to take the ferry across the river, I thought she meant we were going to ride a fairy. A fairy with wings.

I legitimately thought that a giant fairy was going to let us ride on her back to cross a river.

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Do you know where liars go?

Usually when someone lies to me I’ll respond with, “Don’t lie. You know where liars go?” Typically, the response is “Hell.” But I’m here to tell you today that this is simply not true.

When I was a about fifteen I was magnificently lazy about doing my homework–so much so that I would lie and tell my mother I completed all of it during my tutoring sessions that I attended a couple times a week (I was horrible at math, too, thus the tutoring, but that’s a story for another day).

One evening as we were driving home we came to the subject of homework. Somehow I got to the point where I confessed that I hardly ever did it and she, of course, was angry. In order to frighten me, she drove by a local prison on the way home and proceeded with: “YOU SEE THAT?! THAT’S WHERE LIARS GO! BECAUSE FIRST YOU START LYING AND THEN YOU START STEALING, ETC!”

At the time it was obviously scary and I’m sure I was crying, but now it’s just hilarious. So when people think liars go to Hell I correct them with, “No, they go to prison.”

Everybody farts!

I have an “office” at work that everyone walks through. I’m the receptionist. So while things are generally quiet and I’m by myself, people do walk through on their way to take breaks and whatnot.

Sometimes I have gas, as humans do. And usually, when I think it’s okay to let one rip, someone walks through about five seconds later. The farts aren’t noisy, but they don’t smell pleasant either.

I just avoid eye contact, stare at my computer screen, and think, “Don’t look at me…”

Help save Kwesi’s life!

http://www.gofundme.com/67bqrw

Kwesi is the son of Buck, a man I work with. I don’t know Buck very well, but he is extremely kind. He’ll smile at anyone and talk to everyone.

His little boy has been battling a rare form of cancer called pineoblastoma for 4 years. After aggressive chemotherapy and radiation, doctors have said there is nothing more that can be done and his parents should just make him comfortable in what little time he has left.

But they aren’t giving up. Buck and Sonja are raising money so they can travel elsewhere to get treatments not readily available here. If you can, please check out the page and donate. If you are unable, at least repost this so it gets some attention.

I barely know this man and don’t even know his kid, but no one, especially a child, should have to go through this. Thanks for reading!

Vampires Are Too Mainstream

I wanted to post this before Halloween is over, but alas, time got away from me. I’d say it’s still relevant, though.

Have you ever felt like a trendsetter? Like that hipster kid who swears they like something before it was popular? I feel this way about vampires.

When I was a kid, I adored vampires. At the same time, they frightened me half to death. I was terrified one might be hiding in my bedroom closet at night, but I also thought it’d be really cool to be bitten and have to join their ranks.

I don’t know maybe the trend is dying out now that movies, shows, and books surrounding vampires are all coming to a close. But for awhile there, I was definitely thinking, “The rest of you are late; this was cool fifteen years ago.”

Getting Even

Have you ever wanted to get even with someone? Do something so horrible to someone because they did something that was unbelievably disgusting and despicable?

I feel that way now. I’d like to punch this certain someone in the face. But then I think that maybe I shouldn’t because I don’t want to stoop to this person’s level.

And then I realize that a punch to the face would still not be as horrible as what said person did. And I feel a little better about wanting to do it.